We got settled in an ate dinner with Milly and Eric. I was ready to go do some cool stuff like the last time I was here. I was talking to Eric like lets do this, lets do that. But to my dismay he did want to do all of those cool things. Just without me. It sucked I had been waiting for this forever it seemed, and now nothing, what a let down. Eric had grown up and did not want to hang out with me anymore. He was to busy hanging out with his friends. So I just stayed in and watched TV for an entire day. This was not what I was expecting. But it was fine since we did not have any electricity or running water where I lived. So the TV was great,
But the best part was having a bathroom, it was like I was living the high life. Sounds weird but true. We had no plumbing of any type where I grew up. The last day I was there Milly made Eric stay at the house with me. Which he was not too happy about. Milly had a few tables she wanted us to sand down so she could stain them a new color to match her house. It was a lot more challenging than she thought.
We took a ride to the hardware store and got some paint stripper to make it go a little quicker. It sure did, in a few hours the tables were back to wood and ready to stain. So, we stripped the tables and stained them all in that same day.
The day went by so quickly working on the tables and horsing around with Eric, I did not even think about my mom coming or see her pull in to pick me up to go home. That second day was super fun with Eric. Of course he was forced to stay and play with me but we kind of got back to what I remember of our friendship from before.
It was a quite ride home. I remember not feeling very well, It was a bumpy ride. I had almost gotten sick a couple of times.
After I got home, I started to feel better. That night my mom made my stepfather sit with me and do a few crafts, which he never did. I made a boat, and he made a hat out of some construction paper. This was one of the only times I remember my step father being happy to be around me.
So that night I cleaned up the mess we made and threw it in the trash can beside my bed. I got my pajamas on said goodnight and went to bed. Sometime in the night I opened the window just a crack I was still not feeling great.
We heated with a woodstove and it would get so hot in the tiny house I could not stand it, plus I loved the fresh air, this made me feel much better and I went back to sleep. In the middle of the night sometime after my parents went to asleep I woke up I felt weird all of a sudden I realized that I was not breathing
I had anxiety about it. I could not yell. I did not have any breath to yell with. Then I had more anxiety, it was building and building I could feel my heart beating faster, then..
I actually understood that I did not have to breath anymore. It was a very strange feeling but It felt familiar. I understood the feeling of being, and not breathing. Almost like I had felt it before.
It is hard to explain what I experienced when I left my body. I can say that my first thought was that I could not breath... my second thought was that I did not have to. Then complete contentment!
At the most extreme level!
Then....